I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
