I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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