I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
