It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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