Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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