I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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