In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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