how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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