one two three fourrrrnication!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
