I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
