no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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