those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
