So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
