her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
