I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
