Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
