I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
