Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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