it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
