so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
