I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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