remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
