so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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