we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
