Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I don't deserve a penis
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
