I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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