I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
