If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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