I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
