Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
