all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
