And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
