maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
