i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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