problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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