GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize