come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
are you so shy because you have an std?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
