eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
