It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
