and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
