Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
