Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it hurts more in the daytime
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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