Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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