She announced her abortion via fbk
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
