we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
