So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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