No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
