She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
