I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
