I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
