Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
