Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
